


NATBLIDA

by Mmjohns



Series: Clexa by MMJohns [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Anya, Alpha Clarke, Alpha Lexa, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate universe alpha/beta/omega, Clexa Endgame, F/F, F/M, Omega Raven, Omega Verse, PTSD Clarke, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, costia what costia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:38:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7367506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mmjohns/pseuds/Mmjohns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a while ago i started writing this,ive finally gotten it to the point where i am comfortable releasing a chapter<br/>here are the basic modifications to the universe i have used for this<br/>No Costia what so ever, therefore, Lexa`s not so closed off<br/>Alpha/beta/omega dynamics & Soulbond dynamics<br/>Soulbond forms runes on contact which spread across initial point of contact<br/>Nightbloods are Ark born & No 100 prisoners<br/>Nightbloods on Ark typically killed at birth to control mutations, but Worshiped on ground as strong<br/>First, Commander was Ark born, Lexa is Nightblood, Clarke hidden night blood never cut so never knew<br/>Nightblood is recessive X-linked (males more likely to express) Reason for death of Jake Griffin</p>
            </blockquote>





	NATBLIDA

The baby girl sat on the floor as her Nanny stood watch, the toys in her hands swinging happily in the little bunk they called home. It took only moments, mere moments of distraction but in the time the girl cuts herself on a tiny piece of metal that is peeling back from the floor, but the part that concerns her nanny most is the tiny stream of black blood that runs from the wound. She is confronted with a terrifying choice, let the chancellors know that another has been born or take her and put her in an escape pod. 

As she leaves the room she can hear the thundering of feet and knows she's been caught, knows that they know about her, it's at that moment she decides, she's going to get this child out if it's the last thing she ever does.  
/// /// /// /// time shift + 5 hours /// /// /// /// Heda`s POV /// /// /// /// /// /// ///

The night sky was studded with burning pinpricks of light as distant stars gazed down on the world below, the canopies of trees sway casting shadows across the fields below as clouds drift through the sky. In the distance, a light drifts into a trailing strip as it falls toward the ground below. 

She lay there not moving, simply waiting, after all, it's not every day a star comes crashing to earth. There's a thunderous tearing sound in the distance as the drop-pod skimmed the trees embedding itself in the beach outside the city of Polis.

 

The commander rises from where she lies and strides from her tower. She does not know why but something calls to her from this star, something about it holds a siren song she is want to ignore.

Many warriors pour forth from the buildings all moving to see the source of the noise, but they all remain behind their Heda, their commander leads the group towards the still smoking drop pod. 

The pod lies half buried in the sand but for the door which lays open and at the foot of the pod lay a girl with cerulean eyes and hair like spun silk her face streaked with soot partially obscuring the flawless skin beneath as blood stains her clothes. 

Her voice is weak and strained calls out "please… please help her… help Lexa…" and it is then her eyes are torn from the woman who has collapsed to the ground. For in her arms lay a baby, small and red-cheeked, its emerald eyes screaming in contrast to the deathly silence that has overtaken its caretaker.

/// /// /// /// time break +19 years /// /// /// /// /// Clarkes POV /// /// /// /// /// ///

The Earth twisted slowly in the distance, an endless shifting sea of green forests and blue ocean, of rolling hills and flat deserts. In the distance, the sun danced across the poles reflecting across the endless sheets of ice. 

Eyes the colour of sapphires are drawn toward a small continent barely visible from this far out. The view is slightly obscured by an opaque wall of cloud rolls across the horizon stretching from one side of the continent to the next, there was something about this continent that drew her eye particularly.

There was something about the place once called North America that drew her to it. The entirety of the world held an almost magnetic sway over the girl, something inexplicable called to her, something that felt like destiny. 

The silence is interrupted as she hears her mother's voice "Clarke, we need you, quickly."

As she turns her back, she sees lightning crackle across the storm covered continent, a foreboding of the days to come.

/// /// /// /// time shift +12 months /// /// /// ///

In the past twelve months, things had grown more and more desperate aboard the Ark, a plague swept through the station, killing indiscriminately few were spared, Omega, Alpha, and Beta all falling under its crushing weight. Of the few that remained there was not enough knowledge of how to keep the station running, of how to keep the enormous home amongst the stars afloat. Fewer than 10 had been spared as she looks around her she knows the true necessity of their chosen course of action. 

By her sides were Raven, a former engineer in training and Omega, Bellamy a former guard recruit and Beta, and Octavia the sister to Bellamy, hidden since birth a beta just like her brother. Wells the Alpha son of the former Chancellor had survived the plague only to die days later when John Murphy in a drunken stupor had opened an airlock venting the section to space. 

And then there was Clarke, trained as a doctor since she could walk and the only surviving Alpha. In the days that had ensued, they had worked to bring together everything they would need to leave the station, to get the drop-ships stocked with everything they would need. And now they wait, Clarke can't help but feel something as the prickling beneath her skin grows greater and more powerful, calling to her, drawing her to a certain spot. 

Entering the coordinates, she checks one final time that everything and everyone are secured and hits the release setting the modules tumbling in perfect sync towards the waiting world below. And all she can think as they fall towards their new home is the name printed above her collarbone four letters 'Lexa.'

/// /// /// /// time shift +4 hours /// /// /// /// Lexa`s POV /// /// /// /// /// /// ///

The day was hot, the air muggy and clinging the smell of trees and the sea mix with the smell of blood and sweat as the Young Commander twirls back and forth in an intricate dance of death, her blade flowing back and forth as graceful and delicate as the old world ballerinas.

A grand rumble fills the air as 2 metallic pods rush to embrace the Earth, at the last moments their rockets firing turning sand into glass on the beach where they land.

A feeling fills her, indescribable in nature, it is like a yearning, drawing her untoward the ships like the 2 ends of a magnet, it's almost, primal.

When she arrives, she finds the dropships surrounded by warriors, and there is the strong smell of an unmated Omega in the air. The Warriors maintain their distance from the ships wary of the open hatch and those that stand within.

As she approaches Anya moves to stop her, in an attempt to protect her commander, she says "Heda, they bear great weapons, like the mountain. It is not wise to get any closer."

However, a feeling still draws her forward, compels her to ignore the counsel of her friend as she picks up a scent, like the smell of fresh wildflowers, it puts her at ease. Looking at her general she deliberately steps forward and past her people raising a hand, telling them not to interfere.

As she steps toward the entrance, a voice comes from within strong and commanding "come no further, we mean you no harm but we will defend ourselves and our ships, it is all that we have left."

"I mean you no harm, I am Lexa Kom Trikru, commander of the 12 clans."

"The 12 clans, what, wait a second what did you say your name was."

"I am Lexa, Kom Trikru."

The voice seems to falter losing its sharp edge "Lexa?"

"Indeed"

There seems a moment of argument between those inside, but soon enough the voice calls again "you may enter, but only you."

"My people will not like this," Lexa says definitively

"Well, I don't trust your people either." Calls the voice once again gaining its steel

"Then we are at an impasse," Lexa says sadly

The voice seems to consider a moment before calling "I give you my word you will not be harmed."

She knows this is wrong, she can practically hear Anya`s voice in her ear warning her not to do it, but something about the voice reassures her, makes her trust them. She decides to trust her instincts, they have served her well so far, she must trust they won't lead her astray now.

She steps upwards and into the doorway, what she finds is not what she had expected, the inside of the ship is stacked with crates of goods and scattered throughout are but a handful of people taking shelter behind makeshift barricades. In spite of this, it is the woman before her that draws her attention.

An aura of strength flows from her like water, and she paints a fierce visage standing there in armour with multiple weapons strapped across her, the clear and decisive image of an Alpha. But it is her eyes that draw Lexa in, as blue as the ocean they watch her with a careful mixture of suspicion and hope.

She steps forward offering her hand in a clasp to the young woman as she says "I am Lexa."

The blonde hesitates only a moment before she says "I am Clarke."

The words have but a moment to register before their hands meet and at that moment there is a searing pain as runes appear across their arms intertwining from one to the other where they meet. They both drop to one knee groaning in pain.

Moments later Anya and a half dozen gonas (warriors) rush through the door, having heard their commander cry out, Anya takes a step forward drawing her sword but quickly stops seeing the sight of the two women before her, turning and ordering the gonas to disperse

They soon recover blue eyes fixating on green Lexa`s saying "AI hodnes I have searched many years to find you.”

They stay looking into each other's eyes until Octavia interrupts asking "Ahh, Clarke, care to tell a girl what's going on?"

Looking up towards Octavia she says "it's her O, I've found her" causing a look of realization to appear on her friend's faces

Then an almost timid unsure voice comes from the back as Raven asks "what, what happens now?"

Before Clarke can answer Lexa answers "if you would allow it there is a place for you amongst our people" then turning to Anya who still remains in the doorway saying "Anya, see to it that they are taken to the tower, see to their needs."

As Anya nods everyone looks to Clarke, she's not sure why but she knows the truth of it as she says “it's ok, we can trust her, go with them, O you're in charge while I'm gone."

They nod and move towards the door Bellamy and Octavia both moving to protect Raven as they step out of the door. What surprises everyone is when as soon as Raven gets within 5 feet of Anya they both freeze before Raven moves wrapping her arms around the blonde, causing them to both fall to the ground as Runes wrap across their arms. Lexa recalls the name she remembers across the back of Anya's shoulder and she bursts out laughing at the look on her former mentor's face.

Clarke looks at the brunette beside her laughing and asks "what's going on Lexa?" 

"It seems our people have much in common, after all, it appears that Anya and your Raven are mates."

Clarke's eyes darken as she hisses "she isn't MY Raven, she's her own person, we don't own our omegas."

Seeing her anger Lexa`s quickly backpedals "I'm sorry Clarke I didn't mean it that way, I merely meant you were her leader."

Clarke's eyes calm quickly as she blushes and says "I'm sorry, we had some issues on the Ark, and I overreacted."

"That is alright ai hodnes, no offense was taken. Will you allow me to escort you to our city?" 

Clarke smiles lightly as she says "I would like that, please lead the way."

As they walk back to the city Clarke finds herself drifting closer and closer to Lexa, as they move through the sands she can't help but be enthralled, by the sand, by the water, by the trees, but mostly by the beauty beside her. Before she realizes it they have stopped, and Lexa is speaking quietly, but the words just roll over her, not really being absorbed. Instead, she finds herself fixated on her lips, watching as they slowly form the words she speaks. 

She can`t help but wonder what they would taste like, what they would feel like, what Lexa`s arms would feel like entwined with hers, and before she realizes what she is doing, before she has a chance to reconsider, she is kissing her.

It feels like fireworks are going off within her mind as they press their lips together, soon finding Lexa`s arms encasing her as her hand finds the back of Clarke`s neck seeking to pull them further together. She nips gently at Lexa`s lower lip causing her to release a small moan and open her lips slightly granting Clarke`s tongue access, but as soon as they begin they are forced to stop, around them has gathered a small crowd watching as they fall together.

As they pull apart Clarke blushes at the gathered crowd but even as she moves to pull away further, Lexa is holding her tighter, as if afraid she would disappear the moment they separated. They move and the crowd parts falling to their knees, as they pass Lexa grips her sword determined to protect them against anything that might come. 

They pass through the market and Clarke marvels at all the open space, at the smells at the community they have stepped into. She sees blacksmiths, and tailors, armorers, and herbalists there is the laughter of children, and she sees them running through the street. But it as they approach the tower Clarke notices the mood shift, gone are the winding streets and open air plazas of the city in their place lies a grand tower dominatingly standing watch over the city walled off by immense concrete fortifications that could stop even the most determined of attackers. Then she sees the mark emblazoned above the doors, the same mark that Lexa bears upon her forehead, and it becomes clear what Lexa meant by the commander.

As they near the walls massive gates made of solid slabs of granite are pulled back allowing them to enter, no sooner have they stepped inside than are they surrounded by guards with a bald-headed man at their front.

"Titus, what is the meaning of this?"

"I'm sorry Heda, but you know the rules Love is a weakness, the commander can`t afford to be seen as weak."

stepping protectively in front of Clarke Lexa looks dead into Titus` eyes "know your place Titus, I am Heda, I make the rules not you."

"not in this" Titus raises a closed fist and suddenly the Warriors move separating the pair, Lexa goes for her sword but there are too many, and she is quickly overpowered.

Even as she is forced away warriors step toward Clarke weapons drawn ready to slaughter her, she feels the commander within her cry out her pain.

The first warrior thrusts his sword toward Clarke, and she narrowly twists away from the blade, leaving only the slightest of cuts down her arm, she watches as blood as black as the night sky seeps from the wound.  
Immediately the warriors that had stood ready to kill her drop to their knees their weapons falling beside them as the reverent whisper "Natblida."

Titus` mouth drops open in shock, and he quickly tries to backpedal. Even as he moves backward a light seems to glow around Clarke, Lexa can only watch as the halo widens, she can feel the crackling energy as Clarke moves toward Titus, the warriors within the courtyard fall backward and their reverent whispers change to Heda Kom Laught (Commander of Light). 

As Clarke advances Lexa notices something, her own aura is pulsing, the commander within drawing her forward, pulses of heat leaving her body driving others back and away, but as she approaches Clarke she notices neither of them is feeling the effects of their auras. Instead, they combine to a shifting wave of energy, both fire, and light cascading as one. As it reaches Titus he falls to the ground screaming, the flesh melting off his bones. 

Soon he lies dead on the floor of the courtyard and the people around them kneel with utter reverence, not since the time of the first commander has Heda Kom Laught been seen, tales tell of the time before the bombs the time of creation, where both the Laught, and the Fleime had been birthed.

The light was born of the desire for creation and represented the transition from death back into life. Whereas the Fleime was born from Protection and was said to guard the souls on their journey to reincarnation, two sides of the same coin it was said that the Fleime and the Laught would always be drawn together both in this life and the next. Together they control destiny, both who lives and who dies.

As they stand before the crowd, the halo of energy slowly fades, and Clarke hears Lexa speak "come, let us go inside we have much to discuss."

They find their way past the prostrating masses and into the tower, quickly they make their way up to the Commander`s floor when the elevator arrives they step out Lexa stepping left as she does allow Clarke to move right she quickly speaks.  
"this is the commander`s floor to the left are my rooms, and to the right are your rooms, not since the first commander have the rooms been used, but by right they are yours. We have much to discuss, and I fear little time to do so. If you would like you may get changed and cleaned up and we can share dinner in my quarters to discuss things further."

"I think that is a good idea, what time should I arrive?"

"I will send a page to you."

"very well" then surprising both of them Clarke moves pressing a kiss to Lexa`s cheek, before turning and moving toward the rooms behind her.

When she enters the rooms, she is immediately knocked on her heels at the sheer space and beauty of it. Large marble columns and vast windows dominate the room allowing light to stream in, white and gold seem to dominate the room. From the pillars to the tiles to the furs on the bed, as she moves throughout the room it comes to her just how large this room really is. There is a vast bathroom with a soaking tub and shower, massive bedroom with a bed big enough to fit 5 people not to mention the lounge dining room and various storage spaces. 

When she has washed she emerges to find her clothes, have been removed, and her armour and weapons placed carefully on a mannequin in her bedroom. Walking over to the closet she examines the clothes set within, deeply in contrast to Lexa`s own wardrobe her wardrobe consists of blues, greens, golds and whites, not a hint of darkness to be found. Quickly changing she settles for a blue dress that offsets her cerulean eyes.

In her own room, Lexa stands to pace trying to sort things out in her own head, less than 3 hours prior she had been the sole commander of her people and had expected to stay that way. She had never expected to find Heda Kom Laught, let alone for her to be Lexa`s soulmate, the fact that she had fallen from the Sky was also an issue.

For the last century her people had feared 2 peoples, the mountain, and the Skaikru, the mountain had sent the Ripas into their midst and killed thousands of them, for that they were feared. But the Skaikru, the Skaikru if legends were to be believed were the harbingers of doom, they were the reason the bombs fell the first time, and if legends were to be believed they would one day fall from the sky heralding the destruction of all those who survived.  
But according to Clarke, this was not the case, according to her the Skaikru were no more, only a handful yet lived, those from the drop-pods who were supposedly the last of their people.

This presented many issues, the least of which was the need for a new Fleime-Keeper, her people feared the Skaikru, but they feared the mountain more, maybe they could find a way to use this. If she and Clarke were to be formally Unioned, their peoples would become one, and they could use it to finally remove the mountain from their lives forever.

Eventually, the time came, and Lexa sent a page for Clarke, as she waited in her rooms there came a knock at the door mere minutes later and Clarke entered. As soon as Lexa lay eyes on Clarke all thoughts of politics and war went out of her mind, it was all she could do not to stare slack-jawed at the vision before her.  
Her heart raced, and every ounce of the commander persona left her body there she stood all masks, all armour, all protections stripped from her by the blonde with the cerulean eyes. Somehow she manages to recover (how still mystifies her to this day) and she moves standing to offer Clarke a seat.  
Clarke smiles as she accepts letting Lexa push her in and that smile combined with the faint whiff of perfume she smells sends Lexa reeling even as her body acts autonomously seating herself across from Clarke at the small table.  
She spends what feels like hours just sitting there staring into Clarke`s eyes blue as the most beautiful gemstones she only stops when the servants place plates of food between them causing them both to blush heavily and look away.

They barely speak throughout dinner instead they sit and watch each other carefully sneaking glances. 

Finally, Clarke seems to make a decision "Lexa, you said we had things to discuss, what were they, I mean it's not like I'm not enjoying being here with you because I am, but what did you want to discuss."

Lexa smiles, already enjoying the blonde’s apparent tendency to ramble "I wanted to talk to you about your options now that you`re here, and maybe talk about my people a little."

Clarke smiles back as she says "Ok, and maybe we can discuss what is to happen to my people now they're here."

"Indeed, where to start, well I suppose I should start after the bombs fell."

In the years after the bombs fell many died, from disease, from famine, from skirmishes between tribes, from roving scavengers and raider parties, all in all, 1/2 of the survivors died in less than 5 years after the bombs fell, that all changed with the first commander.  
It is said she fell from the heavens one day right into the middle of the warring factions, she challenged each clan, and as time passed, she slowly took over, what many forget is that she did not do this alone. The day after she arrived she met a young woman, daughter of a healer, she spoke of the skirmishes and other tortures inflicted upon the peoples. Eventually, they became lovers, and when she went to war, her lover remained at her side, as one killed the other healed.  
Eventually, they controlled all the clans, all swore fealty to them as Heda Kom Fleime and Heda Kom Laught. For many years they ruled over the 15 clans maintaining a fragile peace, until one day the unthinkable happened, they died, not in battle, not of old age, but by an assassin's blade.  
The 15 clans fell into chaos for the next 50 years the commander’s lineage the night blood were hunted to near extinction, of the 15 clans only 12 remained, but eventually through a single night blood survived to reach the age of choosing and ascended to the role of commander, that was my grandfather. He maintained peace until the Ice Nation split from the alliance, after that there was war until approximately 15 years ago. I became Heda, we took the ice nation, and blockaded its capital, and then I offered them a deal. If they would re-join the alliance they could maintain their lands minus a small percentage and they would still get a vote at the table, they accepted even though I know as soon as they can they intend to betray us. 

Truthfully your arrival could not have come at a better time, the other reason I was able to unite the clans back into the coalition was the threat that the Mountain poses.  
The Mountain or Mounon as my people call them are a group of raiders, they steal our people and slaughter our villages, anyone who returns does so as a ripa, a shadow of their former self, they are savagely violent and attack without provocation. The mountain men themselves however only ever appear in their yellow suits, we know not why, we suspect it protects them from the fog they use to kill or enslave our people and carry guns like you did today, that was why we were so worried, we thought you might be with them. I am glad you are not. Hopefully, we can work together and help end this threat, because make no mistake the mountain will come to you next, they always have, they seek the strongest tribe and take their warriors.  
“I’m so sorry Lex if there’s any way I can help, please just ask.”  
“that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, as I said nightbloods are extremely rare, I am the only nightblood of my generation to be born. What most do not know was that nightbloods do not always originate on earth, many have fallen from the stars, although that has not happened since the time of my birth. Because of this, a union between 2 nightblood is seen as sacred, all clans will fall into line behind them our laws demand it.”

“and I`m a nightblood, so if we were to be unioned” she lets the thought fall unfinished  
“Indeed, I would never insist on anything, this can be purely political if that is your desire, after all, we are both Alpha`s a mating successful between 2 alphas has not happened amongst my people for centuries, not since the time of the first commander.”

“and if I agree to this what happens exactly.”

“for all intents and purposes we would become as one entity, your people would become mine and mine yours, those of the coalition would fall before you as they do I.”

“very well, I have but one condition.”

“name it.”

Clarke takes Lexa`s hand in her own as she speaks “we get to know each other first, as Clarke and Lexa, we are soulmates, and I will not allow some political alliance to ruin that.”

Lexa smiles “I would like that.” 

For three days the pair barely separate they instead spend nearly every waking moment in each other’s company only separating when they are required to attend to matters of state or pack. It soon becomes apparent to all around them that something is blossoming between the pair and the ambassadors from the clans seek to take advantage, those of the Plains Nation attempt to us the distraction to start up hostilities with the neighbouring horse lords and take back the territory they lost before the war of unification. Others such as the Azgeda attempt to utilise the forming bond to paint the commander as weak, it is this that on the fourth day leads to a challenge being issued, not just against Lexa as Heda Kom Fleime but to Clarke as well, attempting to dispel the idea of the existence of Heda Kom Laught. As such they both stand in the Polis arena surrounded by their challengers, Lexa in her battle armour and Clarke armed with the best arms and armour the Ark had to offer. Soon Indra as interim Fleimekepa stands and calls the final chance for the withdrawal of challenge, none take the option.

The battle begins in a mass of snarling twisting bodies as the challengers all rush toward their opponents, without hesitation Clarke and Lexa leap into the fray, their bodies acting as one as they drive and parry forcing the challengers back on the defensive enemy though they are far outnumbered. 2 of the 14 challengers fall in the first 30 seconds their heads rolling across the arena. Clarke and Lexa dance around each other protecting and guarding the other slowly one by one the challengers fall before the pair soon only three of 14 remain, the best of the challengers having evaded their death by seconds struggling to stand up to the onslaught rent by the two Heda’s.

Finally, one of them gets lucky, their blade slashing across Lexa`s arm and Clarke’s chest, scoring the armour across both, a small amount of black blood leaks from both as they seem to go into an almost fugue state. All around them, gasps can be heard as the Heda`s freeze, the now cocky assailants moving in for a finishing blow the ice queen standing from her seat calling out for it to be finished. Time seems to stand still as a glow encompasses the pair, and there is a large flash, moments later their opponents charred skeletons fall to the ground and in the stands, the ice queen falls to the ground her skin blackened.

All around them those who had watched fall to their knees in supplication the power of the Heda`s undeniable, the stadium goes silent as Clarke and Lexa move sheathing their weapons before walking arm in arm towards the exit. The crowd suddenly comes back to life around them releasing an immense roar at the display they had just witnessed, and it is immediately Apparent that stories about this moment will travel far among the 12 clans, and that their positions as Heda Kom Laught and Heda Kom Fleime are beyond challenge.

As soon as they are back in the safety of the commanders floor Clarke starts stripping off her blood-soaked armour Lexa seeing the pain in her soulmate quickly follows suit and moves pulling Clarke into the nearby bathroom. She knows that at the moment she needs to be weak, she needs to not be an Alpha, she needs not to be a leader, she just needs to be Clarke.They make their way into the bathroom both gently settling into the warm bath, allowing the water to wash away all evidence of what had happened, the water slowly turns red and is quickly replaced. 

After she is sure the last of the blood is gone Lexa pulls Clarke into her chest and says “I'm here ai hodnes, let it out, just let it all out.”  
Clarke falls apart in her arms the conflicting emotions tearing at her, on the one hand, she is glad she is alive, and no real harm has befallen either of them, but she can’t help but feel guilty. Guilty that she killed those people, guilty that their families have lost loved ones, and of course sadness that she lost part of herself in that arena, she was a killer now, and she wasn’t sure how to deal with that.

Looking back at lexa even as she moves closer into her arms she asks the question that has been troubling her the most “how do we move on from this, how do I move on from this, I killed them, Lex, I didn’t give them a chance, I just killed them.”

Knowing the pain Clarke is going through Lexa thinks a moment carefully before speaking. “you can’t move on from this, it is always a part of you, no matter where you go, no matter how long passes it never goes away. You learn to manage it better but it never truly leaves” then she pauses looking deep into Clarke’s eyes “but no matter what happens, you are not alone, I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Clarke smiles pressing a kiss to the corner of Lexa`s mouth just basking in her presence letting the combination of her soulmate and the warm water wash away the pain she feels. Eventually, the water goes cold, and Lexa moves them from the tub, helping Clarke dry and dress before doing the same herself.

As she goes to leave and head back to her rooms, she hears Clarke ask in a small voice “Lexa? Can you please stay; I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

lexa nods her head saying “of course, whatever you need.”

She moves back into Clarke's room slipping into bed beside the blonde, mere moments later Clarke wraps herself around Lexa snuggling tightly into her side. Lexa lets her hands slowly stroke down Clarke`s back as she slowly calms slipping into a deep sleep. She awakens in the middle of the night and for a moment she can`t figure out why that is until she feels the tears flowing down Clarke's face beside her as she sobs in her sleep. Gently she shakes Clarke awake as she presses kisses to the crown of her head “Clarke, Clarke ai hodnes, wake up, it's only a dream, you're safe here my love.”

Clarke starts awake, and only Lexa`s fast reflexes stop her from being headbutted as Clarke's eyes show fear and panic Lexa says “Clarke, its ok my love, you're here, you're safe.”

“lexa?”

“I'm here my love.”

“it was horrible, they were dying, and I couldn’t help, I watched them all die, Lexa.”

“watched who die Clarke?”

“all the people on the ark, it was horrible Lex.”

“do you want to tell me about it, you don’t have to bear it alone Clarke, in here for you?”

Clarke sighs heavily and shuffles down wrapping herself deeply into Lexa`s arms before she starts speaking “it started about 12 months ago, there were a couple of cases of the flu, nothing major, nothing we hadn’t seen before. Normally we`d just quarantine the area, let it pass naturally, and for a time that seemed to work, until it didn’t. Somehow it escaped, got into the air supply and mutated, before long the entire station was infected. People started dying left and right, the medical staff was the first to die, my mom was one of the first to die.”

“I'm so sorry Clarke” lexa pulls the blonde in closer releasing as many calming pheromones as she can 

Clarke nuzzles deeper into Lexa`s neck before she continues “I was the only one left with any medical training, one doctor on a station housing a thousand. There were just too many, I couldn’t help them. Eventually, a couple of us found out we were immune, but by that point, it was too late, there weren’t enough of us to make a cure, not for so many. Within six months there were only six of us left. We tried, we tried so hard to stay alive and for a time we managed but eventually it became too much and we had no choice but to leave. We had to leave them Lexa, almost a thousand of them just left to rot, our friends, our family, just left there like garbage.”

“you had no choice Clarke, you said it yourself, there were too many, you had to do what you did, or the rest of you would have died as well.”

“then we should have died, were the last of our people, we have no one, we are no one.”

“no, never think like that, you are someone, you're my soulmate, and I love you, your people are my people, you're not alone Clarke, not now, not ever.”

“but, but what if you leave me too Lex, what if you die too. I couldn’t take that.”

“I'm not going anywhere Clarke, I love you, I know we've known each other only a short while, but it’s the truth, I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. You're never going to be alone again.”

Clarke starts to cry, and Lexa leans down just letting her let it all out. Eventually, she cries herself to sleep, and Lexa can't help but feel her heartbreak for the young woman beside her. A young woman who has gone through so much, who's faced so much just to keep her people alive and she knows that at that moment there's nothing she wouldn’t do for her. That should scare her, but it doesn’t.


End file.
